GET REAL

I had an interesting conversation with a colleague a few days ago. She shared with me that since taking a new position two years ago, she’s much happier with her work and her stress level has decreased significantly. Yet she’s working more hours and has a fuller plate than she has in the past.

She said her husband told her recently that although he’s noticing the increase in hours she spends working, he’s enjoying seeing her happy. And, he mentioned that the shift in her mood and outlook has been great for their family life. She agrees that it feels great to have some passion and excitement about her work and she’s finding more joy with her family and in her life in general, than she has in years.

So How many hours are too many hours? may not be the question. The more signficiant question may be: How much unhappiness is too much unhappiness?

Thinking about hiring a professional coach? Need a consultant with specific areas of expertise? If you decide to explore this as a professional or personal development option, or to support your strategic plans, here are a few things you may want to consider:

• Ask around. Your colleagues may have feedback relating to consultants or coaches they have personally worked with or heard of.

• You may choose to interview more than one candidate before making any commitments. Most candidates will (should) be willing to meet with you free of charge for at least an hour, if not more, to discuss your needs and share details about their services and experience. An experienced consultant or coach realizes that they may not be the perfect match for every person or need. Also keep in mind that in today’s environment, it’s not unusual for individuals to hire professionals remotely, where communications are done by phone and email.

 • Ask for client referrals — and then take the time to call them. At the very least ask for testimonials. You’ll be making a significant investment, financially and personally. Learn as much as you can about the candidate’s integrity and successes. Even in light of confidentiality, there are generally a few clients who offer to serve as referrals or who may have already offered written testimonials.

• Feel free to ask for the proposed coaching/consulting plan in writing. Your candidate should have no problem documenting his/her understanding of your immediate goals and desired outcomes, as well as preliminary recommendations for an assessment and a coaching/consulting plan. The proposal should also include estimated timelines and costs.

• After meeting with a candidate, ask yourself these questions —

- Is this someone I can see myself looking to for advice?

- Is this someone who I believe won’t hesitate to challenge me when I may need it?

- Does this person’s areas of expertise, best match my current needs?

- Do I get a sense of the candidate’s willingness to be flexible?

- Do our life and work philosophies seem to be aligned?

- Do I feel there is a comfortable yet professionally stimulating chemistry between us?

If you’ve followed these guidelines and answered yes to all of the above questions, you’re prepared to make your choice. Once you do, get ready for what should be one of the most rewarding professional and personal investments of your life.

I was in a conversation with someone earlier this week as she was sharing how she might address a concern she has with a co-worker. The co-worker has repeatedly generated inaccurate or missed information on paperwork.

She mentioned how she might simply stick to the business impact. —She’d let her know that filling out the paperwork inaccurately causes inefficiencies that are negatively impacting the promised product delivery date. 

Although I commended her for focusing on the business impact, I suggested she take the statement and flip it over allowing a more positive approach. She might let her co-worker know that the reason she’s concerned is that accurate paperwork is key to the process moving along efficiently and the customer receiving product by promised target dates.

So if you find yourself preparing for a difficult conversation, try flipping it over. Maybe it’ll help the conversation take a more positive turn.

Worry. Worry about what you said or did. Worry about what you’re going to say or do. Worry about what others are experiencing, or what your or others’ actions may generate in outcomes or judgments.

We all find ourselves worrying from time to time as part of the human condition. But I’m beginning to internalize the understanding that worry is one of those things that simply does not, and will not, benefit a situation, person or event. Personally and professionally, when I’m in touch with this understanding, it’s a gift. 

Activities that may be more useful in our professional lives—that may minimize negative outcomes and therefore minimize worry—might include: making the effort to better understand a person or situation before acting; anticipating and preparing for desirable and/or undesirable outcomes; being better prepared for communications; and acknowledging one’s own part in less than desirable outcomes then swiftly moving forward with well thought out and inclusive solutions. 

Eliminating worry is unrealistic. Minimizing worry is within our reach. Here’s to peace of mind.

Think about a time when you’ve felt that you carefully and clearly communicated an important change strategy to an individual, a team, or your organization. Have you ever experienced someone challenging you soon afterward with a question about something that was already well clarified in that communication? Have you found yourself wondering why, if they read your message, they didn’t “get it”?

I first heard the term—six times, six different ways—from the facilitator of a change management workshop years ago. He suggested that in order for people to internalize or “get” a communicated message of any significant or complex nature, they need to hear it six times, six different ways.

I find this especially true when the communications reflect changes or strategies that may have a significant impact on individuals or teams within an organization.

Examples of six different ways might include: a formal presentation; an email summary; reiteration in a newsletter or org chart; a letter from the president; a casual follow up conversation; and perhaps an effort by first-level managers to provide an opportunity for discussion in smaller staff meetings.

So the next time you find yourself having to communicate significant organizational news or changes, remember what it may take to be heard. 

I was having a conversation with seasoned professionals about young professionals, and the subject shifted to mentoring. I find it interesting that there’s often an assumption that the seasoned professional would serve as mentor to the young professional.

Although I thoroughly enjoy sharing my expertise with young individuals who are newer to the business environment, I often find that the real value is in what I learn from them. —How to thrive comfortably in a high-tech environment, creating yet more opportunities to apply technology to day-to-day communications and business. —A fresh perspective of the needs and consumer trends of professionals in our current business environment. —A better appreciation for the benefits of the transient employee culture of the new millenium. I could go on, but you get the idea.

Regardless of how experienced or inexperienced we may see ourselves, we have a great deal to offer one another.

A little over a decade ago many of us in the professional development arena experienced and/or observed a significant shift in popularity for classroom training and development. We were beginning to understand that our hefty investments in quick-hit training were not reaping the long-term benefits and ROI we had hoped for. The reinforcement and time investment required from management in order to reinforce and solidify classroom learning, and the efforts needed to fine-tune the application of skills and techniques to an individual’s day-to-day reality continued to challenge us and undermine our learning and development efforts.

We began to recognize the value of customizing the learning experience based on individual needs and learning styles.  We experienced the value in coaching and mentoring individuals over time, in the midst of their real-life work and demands. We began to incorporate small group reinforcement, self-study or e-learning programs, and effective follow-up and evaluation strategies into our development plans.  

Now, a decade later, organizations are getting the message. It’s the combination of all of these efforts—and more—that creates a results-oriented learning environment.

The workshop or classroom interaction with peers and co-workers has its irreplaceable benefits, and they’ve been missed. Although not necessarily the best stand-alone opportunity to transfer skills, we find that the classroom setting may provide a springboard or reinforcement for learning—through self-reflection and discovery; tools and ideas exchanged; morale boosted; experiences shared; trust being built among teams—and it whets the individual’s appetite for learning and participating in his or her own continuous development plan.

Preparation for and/or reinforcement of the classroom experience through specialized coaching processes, technology-based programs, and purposeful preparation and follow up strategies, provides a more comprehensive and effective learning opportunity for our employees.

Our educated conclusion: It’s a mix of learning strategies that reaps the most significant benefits for the individual and ultimately for his or her organization.  

As a leader, the standard you set will far outweigh any policy or rule that you, or anyone else, may dictate or document. And although the following example I offer is a simple one, in my experience even the most complex documented requests or stated expectations will be trumped by what you allow (i.e., the standard). 

As for that simple example: You may have stated or written clearly that you expect your team to be on time for your 9 o’clock staff meetings. However, the first time you start the meeting at 9:10am because you wanted to be sure all had arrived, you immediately set a new standard: Getting here 10 minutes late for our staff meeting is fine—even acceptable.  

I find that regardless of what policy or rule may be set, we tend to behave according to what we can get away with without consequence. Consequences may be as basic as a follow-up call from you looking for that report that is late, or your starting that meeting promptly and having those who are late miss out on information.   

It’s tough to have policies and standards consistently aligned. But even if they’re not aligned, I believe we’ll be more effective leaders if we understand the difference between the two. 

Q: If you had the power to change just one thing in our organization, what might it be, and how would you go about it?

If you’re in a leadership position, this is a great question to ask of your employees during your one-on-ones. Or, you can ask it of a team through an email survey. You may want to provide the question before your meeting, or offer a target date to submit an answer to allow individuals the time to think it through, before answering.

Common themes among the answers you receive will offer great food for thought as you identify areas needing your attention or leadership.

If you’re an individual contributor, who hasn’t been asked this question, but who might be interested in answering it, I encourage you to take the initiative and do just that. Generally, concerns are well received from an employee, when he or she also provides a full recommendation for solution. —Especially if the employee is willing to participate in the solution.

We’ve got the lingo—re-engineered; headcount; dotted line reportability; matrixed organization; PIP; human capital; etc. According to an artist friend of mine who recently found herself meeting with corporate friends—”They get talking, and it’s like someone dropped me onto a different planet.”

I have a similar feeling when I overhear my art therapist friends talking about the impact of combining traditional psychotherapeutic theories and techniques with an understanding of the psychological aspects of the creative process. Yikes!

Each of us have developed our own comfort zones—our own language—based on our own environments and experiences. This reminds us that regardless of how experienced we may be or feel in a particular area, there’s a whole world out there, and, if we choose to, we have much to learn from each other.